Well, the paint has dried and I have some time on my hands so it’s time for step two. I cut up all the sayings and got ready to transfer them onto the wood blocks.
That was the last part that was easy. I know, you’re wondering how it could be hard to put a sticker onto something. That’s what I thought too. Then I realized the popsicle stick in the kit was to transfer the saying onto the wood blocks by using the pressure to adhere the art to the wood. Now, I know it doesn’t exactly sound like it should be hard. But let me tell you, my hands cramped like I was a 95-year-old arthritic pensioner, and it took me forever to do the first one. There was a moment when I realized that the saying I had randomly selected was ironic because I was not happy that I had chosen this activity today. Ok, it wasn’t that I was unhappy; it was more that I was frustrated. Frustration seems to be following me around like a shadow lately. You know how you have that sort of low-level frustration that never quite goes away and you feel a little snippy but not actually angry? Or when you find yourself doing something ridiculous like dropping the same thing over and over, which should be funny, but it’s not a good day so you’re not mad, but it’s also not going to be funny for a while yet.
So I finished the “Choose happy” magnet and decided popsicle sticks are pure evil when I worked on the other eight. My fingers still hurt from trying to rub the application with the rounded end of the popsicle stick. I only made one mistake, shifting the application while it was half transferred, so the ‘f’ in ‘grateful’ was bisected with the slightest gap. Not a big deal, except that it brought up the feeling of being frustrated again. I knew I needed to move slowly. Why hadn’t I? I am a bit of a perfectionist, so I knew it was important to make sure to work methodically and carefully. But it was frustrating me to go so slowly. I’ve never been good at being patient, but this felt different. I wasn’t just looking to finish, I wanted it to be done immediately. I find that the longer I’m pandemic distanced from my friends and extended family and my students, the shorter my attention span seems to be getting, and the more quickly I seem to get frustrated. I sincerely hope that my ability to pay attention and not be frustrated by the amount of time it takes things to happen rebounds in post-pandemic times.
I decided to forgo the feeling of accomplishment that I knew would come from finishing the project immediately in order to think about how easily frustrated I had been and try to understand what had happened to turn an innocuous project into a frenzied need to be done with said project. Taking time to reflect is one of the steps I’m taking to try to regain my pre-pandemic patience and other skills. So, for tonight, I’m putting everything away to take some time to think instead of rushing through the next steps.
Duct Tape and Dreams 