I should clarify that I am a plant murderer. I have killed Peace Lillies, cacti, snake plants, ivy, air plants…everything that is supposed to grow, no matter what. Not just once, either. I’ve killed multiples of each of those poor plants. The only thing I haven’t killed, knock wood, is my pothos plant. Which I’m almost afraid to say out loud for fear that the Universe will smite it.
In the past year, thank you Covid, I have managed to keep three snake plants alive, mostly I believe because I stared at them almost every day for 18 months, and I am now housing a spider plant that is fighting the good fight.
But nothing flowers or blooms so it’s just a lot of green. Not that there is anything wrong with green. I was just missing something with color. When I decided to plant something with a pop of color, I immediately decided geraniums were the very thing. Until I went to several places and the geraniums were all gone. Apparently nobody wants to buy geraniums at the end of July other than me. Who knew it was a time sensitive plant?
Instead, I got the beauty in the picture. Please don’t ask me what it is or I’ll be forced to say ‘purple’ like it’s the name of the lovely plant I have on my deck. And that would be embarrassing.
Anyway…
So I got the lovely plant, who shall remain nameless, and immediately started to worry. Was I giving it too much water? The right amount of water? Not enough water? Too much sun? The right amount of sun? Too little sun? How was I supposed to know? I couldn’t even look it up to see if there was advice for keeping it alive because I don’t know its name.
And isn’t that just like life?
You want to do something the right way. You want to grow a business; you want to grow your family; you want to grow your career; you want to grow your bank account, nothing comes with clear, easy to follow, always applicable instructions.
Am I being a tiny bit facetious? Yes. But not as much as you’d think. Do you know that they sell around 19 million self-help books every year and the personal development industry is worth about 40 billion dollars annually?
Remember that time your teenager acted crazy, and you wished you had a set of directions? Remember the day you worked on the project that you were sure would get you a raise or a promotion, but you wished you had a way to be sure what your boss was looking for? What about the time you bought stocks, or anything else for that matter, and watched your profits disappear when the market tanked and you didn’t understand what happened, but boy did you wish you had some better knowledge? And what about the day you decided to get pregnant, adopt, watched a child get married, got married or re-married yourself, or maybe you quit your job and started a business? I’d be willing to bet that there are very few of us who have never wished for a clear set of guidelines for life’s biggest and most important decisions.
Sure, but what does that have to do with my ‘planticide’ tendencies? Different people want, or need, guidance in different areas of their lives. Personally, I have spent the better part of my teaching career with teenagers. They do not scare or confuse me at all. But working with elders makes me uncomfortable because I’m afraid I’ll do or say the ‘wrong thing’. Different people have different strengths and weaknesses (Thank goodness or we’d be in trouble).
So what is my point? My point is that in this life, we have a lot thrown at us. Sometimes it’s keeping a purple plant alive, and sometimes it’s a car crash that lands us in a hospital. Sometimes it’s planning a three-year-olds birthday party when they NEED the theme to be something you can’t find, and sometimes it’s a cancer diagnosis. There is no single ‘difficult’ thing we all have in common, except that we all, at some point, wish that life was a little bit more clear, or maybe even a little bit simpler.
Sometimes the internet can get us some answers. My friend has a plant app on their phone which will probably tell me what the purple plant is and, if I’m lucky, how to take care of it so it lasts until the first frost. Sometimes a research librarian (Did you know there is an actual person at the library whose job it is to look for stuff you can’t figure out?) can find you some resources with some answers. Sometimes your doctor will have the information you’re looking for. The world is as full of knowledge as it is full of questions.
Why do you care? Because on those days when you wish you understood why your teen is acting like they’ve lost their mind, your toddler is having a fit because there is no Paw Patrol birthday tablecloth and paper plates and you wish you know who had bought every single Paw Patrol item in every store within a 25 mile radius of your home, it might help to remember that none of us know what we are doing. We may look like we do because, as you age, you experience different life events and you gain experience, but learning never stops. There is never a point in time that you get to say, I know it all. I am supremely confident that I understand everything.
It’s just not possible. If for no other reason than that is the exact moment, your phone will need an update. Seriously though, the world is an ever evolving mess of new inventions and old languages dying out, new medicines, and old-growth forests gone in fires, all of which we try to balance to gain the knowledge we need to live our lives fully while also using the knowledge not just for our betterment but for the betterment of mankind and the planet. At least most of us do. Luckily, although there are people who truly don’t care, they are the outliers.
So as you reflect on your difficult situations, whatever they are, and you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember that just because it feels impossible doesn’t mean it is, and just because it seems hard doesn’t mean you can’t do it.
And also, send good vibes to my purple plant.
Duct Tape and Dreams 